For those of you who have been on this journey with me, I'm happy to announce that I am a Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator!! :)

I have appreciated all the love and encouragement along the way. I could not be more excited to start my new career and I will be working away at my new website Suzannetoth.com

Lots of love to you all,

Suzanne.

NYC

From the people, food, sights and sounds I found myself tearing up a few times over how happy I was to be back in the city that never sleeps. I met wonderful people, most born and raised in NYC.  The kindness they showed me was humbling. It reminded me of my first visit to NYC—everyone was so welcoming and warm, I felt almost as though I was at a home away from home. I indulged in pizza by the slice and snacked around Time’s Square.  The Breakfast Sandwich Platter at « The Butchers Daughter » was a warm welcome my first morning there and reminded me a lot of a place I would find in Toronto.  Sarabeth’s was very much my taste—dressy, sophisticated and served a delicious Eggs Benedict.   Both brunches were delightful but I cannot stop thinking about HOW GOOD the tomato jam was at The Butchers Daughter—delicious!

Walking through Central Park was a highlight for me. It was free, it was beautiful, and I had awhile to just sit and watch everything and everyone around me. There were those who were playing music, others were sitting in silent meditation or walking, or jogging, or biking.  Couples, singles, children, families—all going somewhere and all seeming to enjoy the journey.    There is something magical about this place.

I walked through different areas, up and down streets, popping into cafes to grab a hot drink and warm up before continuing on. I looked out from the top of the Empire State building, witnessed an engagement an arm’s length away, walked through the crowds of time square, and met up for dinner and drinks at the W one night with a cousin. The weekend flew by but I can say I made the best out of every moment. 

As I hopped into a cab on my way to the airport,  the feeling was bittersweet. I was leaving the city I had fallen in love with years ago, but I was now a woman and mother—not the young girl who had first been awed by New York.  I was going home to the little boy who holds my heart and the man that I am falling more in love with every day.

Thank you NYC for a time to remember <B

Up until now, every time I baked chocolate chip cookies I stuck to the recipe that my Mom, Nana and Great-Grandmother always used.  They didn’t have the internet link of http://www.hersheycanada.com/recipes/en/recipe-details.aspx?id=6400&name=ORIGINAL-CHIPITS-COOKIESto give them the recipe for this favorite treat; the plastic bag of chocolate chips, with the recipe on the back was all they needed.  I haven't been excited about Gluten Free baking but after Owen's Grandmother sent home her gluten free chocolate chip cookies I was delightfully surpried how great that they tasted! Immediately, I asked her for the recipe and followed the link of http://www.cloud9specialtybakery.com/pdf/C9%20Chocolate%20Chip%20Cookie%20Recipe.pdf  to a new favourite!   I used the Cloud 9 baking mix that she sent home. Simple to use but watch that you wait long enough for the wet ingredients to cool.  Otherwise, your cookies will look more like chocolate swirls!
I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

Our Own Modern Family

I had planned on saying a little speech yesterday at Owen's Birthday party,  a "Thank you" to everyone for coming to Owen's party, but the day was so busy that I didn't have the chance to. I was running around with the little ones and in between bowling, pizza, cake and arcade games, a quiet moment to make a speech did not arise. It was funny, when Owen's grandmother came up to ask me how many kids there were, I said "15" and started laughing because there were only about 7 but it felt like there were at least 15!! Lol. Nonetheless, it was a great party, Owen had a fantastic time, and so did his little buddies!

What I wanted to say to everyone that came was: How nice it was that we could all be there to celebrate Owen’s Birthday, and how lucky I felt for Owen that he had not only his Mom, Dad and little friends,  he had my side of the family, his Father’s side of the family, and now my boyfriend, Rick’s family—all there to celebrate OWEN. There have been many times when people have commented that « Sean and I are so lucky that we get along so well » .  I didn’t realize how fortunate we were until I heard this sentence over and over again and I am grateful that this is so.  Thank you for making this an easy transition for Owen, thank you for loving him the way that you do, thank you all for being open to new a way of being family, our own little Modern Family. 

My thanks goes out to you for the time you took to be a part of Owen’s 5th birthday, the warm wishes, thoughtful gifts and love you have shared with us means so much!  

Riding the Wave

My « little guy » will be turning five this coming Saturday.  I can hardly believe it!  As the day has come closer, I have been thinking a lot about this journey of Motherhood and I’ve realized that I know very little, to nothing about it—there is so much more to learn. 

Up to the age of three,  Owen was the easiest baby and toddler. Always smiling, never giving me any grief.   I was naïve to think I had this whole « mother thing" figured out. I thought, « I was a natural », « I was a pro at this », « I probably deserve a mother-of-the-year award » ( laughing) and then fast forward to three and one half  and I felt my mother medals slowly leaving me. Owen did not seem to appreciate anything his father and I did for him. It  wore me out!  Even though I prayed that this was just a phase,  it has honestly lasted until about a month ago. Almost a year and a half of it!   

I can laugh about this now because things have definitely improved. Owen is even enjoying school and the phrase « Owen, 5 minutes ’til we get ready for school!»  is now something I do not dread to say. There are more smiles than tears (from both of us) and this fall has been really, very wonderful :) 

Between all of the terrible, pulling-out-hair times of the past five years, there were many times where I would laugh at Owen.  When he wants to be, he is the silliest, funniest little boy—which may save him at times when I’d like to send him to a time out. He is kind to other children, loves to dance and sing and is as smart as a whip! And when he sleeps, when his eyes are closed and he is peaceful, I still see that baby face. 

Someone said something to me yesterday about their daughter that has stuck with me.  They said: «  They don’t listen and they don’t stop growing so enjoy every last minute…It’s all I can do every day... to take her all in and enjoy her." 

As I continue on this journey of Motherhood, thats all I can do. I won’t know what the right thing to do is all the time.  I have to accept his good days with his bad, as he does with mine. Stay present and enjoy every last minute of him, because taking the good days with the bad, we will never have THESE days back again. 

I have so much more to learn, to teach, but this journey has held, by far, the best days of my life. 

Sometimes you just need to throw your hands up and do a jig!

A jig and a bum shake is what I had to do get a smile and a chuckle from Owen. I might have also done this for myself; I needed a smile and a chuckle, about then. It was either that or start pulling my hair out—something my Dad says I drove him to—and which I completely believe as I was no angel!  

Anyway, the other night, Owen was giving me a hard time.  He had played a few games on the IPAD but he didn’t want to get ready for bed. I brought him up to the washroom to brush his teeth and stood him in front of the toilet, he stared at me like it was some sort of cowboy standoff and he had a weapon. He stood there and told me he wasn't peeing and that he wasn't happy with me. So I started to do a jig.  « Thats not funny, Mom, " said Owen. So I shook my butt.  That got a chuckle but no results in the toilet.   Standing there with a smile, Owen said, « I’m still not peeing Mom. «  So then I turned on the tap.  End of choice :)  

It’s a steep climb but I’m learning not to take things too seriously and let small things (which seem like HUGE things when you’re also a tired Mom and all you want to do is go to bed) roll off your back. Its either that or go bald.   I choose this :)

When life throws you a million curve balls, it’s hard not to feel depleted. Nothing happens overnight and my goal of becoming a Childbirth Educator has taken more time

then I ever expected. That being said, when you really want something, you keep on persevering until you get there. You don’t ever stop believing in yourself

or your dreams.  You trust you’ll get there.  You remind yourself that Rome was not built in a day.  Cock-eyed optimist?  Well, if that’s what I have to tell myself until I make it, then that’s what I’ll tell myself!

In the meantime, set yourself up to have the greatest success and surround yourself with positive people. I know this has always been the greatest help for me, having such a great support system really does help!

Besides my little hiccup in the road, I have been enjoying LIFE! Summer weather seems to be here to stay and Owen and I have been enjoying every minute! As soon as the sun comes out we just want to get outside, wander the markets, eat fresh food— and lots of it! And we are not alone—we are meeting new people, and making new friends! 

Below are a some photos of what we've been up to, the places we've been and the people we've seen! 

Wishing you well. x0x0x

           

                                                        ^^^ Dinner together ^^^

                                      ^^^Enjoying my evening with the beautiful women behind Social Common at their Summer Kick Off Party!! ^^^  http://socialcommon.ca                                

                                           

                                                 ^^^FURASOS --Simply delightful! I cannot stop raving about their pappardelle! ^^^ http://www.fusaros.com/#about

                                         ^^^DBAR at FOUR SEASONS--White Truffled sausage,with pommel puree and pork jus. New favourite way to eat sausage, it was fantastic!! ^^^ http://www.dbartoronto.com

^^^Sweet little Owen hanging out at Londons International Food Festival! Our favourite

was the Goodah Gastro Truck.^^^

Scrubs in the City--Soiree Under the Stars for SickKids

From the venue, to the food, to the entertainment,  and the attendees, everything was perfect, my boyfriend and I  were so lucky to be a part of this event, thanks to Social Common.

Through Scrubs in the City, SickKids raised more than $450,000 in support of the SickKids Operating Suites Redevelopment Project.

SickKids performs more than 12,000 surgeries annually to some of the most critically ill children from around the world and we were delighted to be a part of this. 

Below are a few photos from the evening.

http://socialcommon.ca

http://www.sickkidsfoundation.com

The Fluffiest of Pancakes!

I try to make pancakes at least once a week. Owen loves them and I love anything carb-related.

This particular morning, Owen requested that the pancakes not be made with coconut oil or whole wheat, so I searched for "fluffy pancakes" on Google, and chose the picture I thought looked the most appealing. This photo took me to a blog you can find here http://bloggingmama.com/fluffy-homemade-pancakes-from-scratch/ which led me to the fluffy pancake recipe. Owen agreed that these were the BEST pancakes that I have ever made!  

If you decide to try the recipe, just top the pancakes with fruit, powdered sugar and a little syrup, and you've got yourself a real morning treat! :)

Hope you enjoy them as much as we did!

I often go to Toronto to visit my boyfriend and girlfriends alone, as regularly, Owen will spend the weekend with his father. This weekend, I was able to bring Owen with me to Toronto which made my weekend even more special. We had a great time!  This beautiful city has so much to offer—not only for adults but also, for little ones!

Friday, Owen had fun gaming at Playdium, an arcade-style fun place for kids in Missassauga. Saturday, we spent the day in The Beaches and visited my friend’s cafe,  the Mad Hus Café ( https://www.facebook.com/madhuscafe) It was so nice to catch up with friends over espresso, hot chocolate and banana bread! In the evening, we went to dinner theatre at Medieval Times.  There, Owen had the opportunity to cheer on the knights, eat with his fingers and meet the performers after the show. Sunday, we took a walk and had lunch at Hunters Landing.  The burgers, and Owen’s pizza, were delicious and a perfect way to end our weekend.

The previous weekend I was childless and my boyfriend and I had the chance to have a date night at BENT (http://www.bentrestaurant.com/#!home) My favourite part of the meal was the yellow tail hamachi finished along with the caviar and lobster vodka shooters. If you haven’t had the chance to go, I would highly recommend this place for a couple’s or girl’s night out!

Enjoy your week!  X0

TBT

Time to get up, the son is shining 


You know that feeling… The feeling you get when someone is staring at you while you sleep? I get that feeling almost every morning.  It doesn’t startle me but I am very aware of it. I open my eyes and there is Owen quietly staring with his blankie and a bear in hand. “Hi Mom!” he says. “Hi Owen.  Good morning”, I say. Then I look at my phone to see what time it is, and it’s 5am… Oh my it’s 5 am. “Time to get up!” says Owen.  Owen, my love it is only 5am, would you like to crawl into bed with me? Let’s sleep a little longer.”  Owen assures me it’s morning and tells me that the sun is out. “Look the sun is shining through your curtains” I peek behind the curtains… Honey, that is the street lamp, it’s 5am. I look over at Owen and he has a big smile across his face. He could care less that it is 5am; he doesn’t know what 5am means.  All he knows is that he’s up and he’s happy and he’s ready to play.  “Ok, I’ll get up”, I wink back.

We go downstairs.   I make myself a coffee and get Owen some milk.  I get down on the floor beside him as he plays with his toys and try to look as enthusiastic as he does while he tells me about robots and what they can do to buildings. We play a little longer, and then I make breakfast.  Then we build a fort in the living room, play with trains, and then it is just about time for us to get ready for school. I look at the clock and tell Owen that I will let him watch a show on TV while I run upstairs to get myself ready. I scoot upstairs to do my hair, make-up and throw on some clothes. I then head downstairs to get Owen dressed and ready for school, and what do I find?  He is fast asleep on the couch.  I smile, and let him sleep a little longer before getting him ready for school.

Slowly, I wake Owen.  Eyes blinking open, he greets me with, “Hi Mom”.  “Hi Owen,” I smile back. “Time to get up, the sun is shining”

Throw back Thursday-- One of my favourite posts

Days to Remember...

Owen was just about two when Sean and I went our separate ways. I was working at Language Instruction for Newcomers to Canada and made the decision to go back to school. That September, when school started for the both of us, it was the worst September of my life.

Every day was a struggle. Owen had a very hard time adjusting and so did I. Bracing for a good-bye, he would have his arms stretched up to me, crying.  Tears streaming down his face,  I would kiss him, hug him, and tell him I would be back as soon as Mommy was finished class.

As brave as all that was, I would leave home every morning in tears, having to fix my make up in the car before heading to class. I don’t know how I made it through that first year. It must have been the people around me, supporting me, and pushing me forward. I reminded myself that I was going back to school for the better good of myself and my son. I carried on.

A year has passed but Owen still has a tough time in the morning when I drop him off at daycare-- not all days are bad, but still, about 40% of the time it will be a challenge getting him out the door.  We may leave with a few tears, but he is always happy when I pick him up at the end of the day. I keep that in mind.

Yesterday was different, yesterday was a day I always want to remember. As I was getting Owen out of the car Owen shouted “Vanessa is going to be here!” “ Oh how nice! I said back to him. “Yesterday you two were playing ‘tag’ in the school yard, looked like you two were having a great time!” I said. “Yup!”, he said.  Then we walked inside. I took off his coat, hat, and mitts, and gave him a hug and kiss good bye. I could see Vanessa sitting at the table having her morning snack so I said good morning to her, too, and pointed Owen in her direction. Owen waved good bye to me and stood in front of the door with his blankie, like he always does. I stood there for awhile and I am so happy that I did.

 I watched Vanessa as she got up from her chair with her cereal bowl and she walked towards the kitchen to hand her bowl to the teacher. Then she came back towards Owen, bent her knees so that he would look into her eyes, and she smiled. Without saying a word she put out her hand to take his and they walked hand in hand towards the play area.

Tears filling into my eyes “that was so nice” I said out loud. I started walking towards the exit, waving goodbye to other teachers on my way out. And as I drove home, I thought about Vanessa and what a little angel she was. I thought back to this past fall when I would drop off Owen and he would cry, Vanessa would come up and give Owen a hug and I would hear the teacher say “give Owen some space” as I was leaving. Every single day this darling little Vanessa has been the first to come over to Owen and give him a hug, or wait patiently in front of him, standing still, until he is calm, and ready to play.

When I arrived back at daycare to pick up my little Owen, Owen ran up to me yelling ”Momm!!” I gave Owen a hug and a kiss, then I walked over to Vanessa and gave her a hug. What I wanted to say right there was “Thank you for looking after my son. You have no idea what it means to me to know that he has you to comfort him.” But instead, I said “Thank you for being such a great friend to Owen.” No words were returned, but a big smile on Vanessa’s face. That was all that I needed. I smiled back. J

TODAY AND TOMORROW ONLY!!!!

 Davids Tea is offering FREE LOVE TEA (1oz) when you spend $25!!

Choose between Read My Lips (One of my favorites!!) Forever Nuts or Red Velvet Cake!

While you're there, pick up one or all of their tea-flavoured chocolate bars!! Perfect for tea pairing and sharing this Valentines Day!! Xox

Good afternoon everyone,

It's been awhile since my last post and I wanted to fill you in on what Owen and I have been up to.

We have been keeping warm indoors lately, on the verge of a little cabin fever. I've been living in London for the past 7 years and this has to be the coldest winter here that I have experienced.

Instead of skating or playing in the snow, most of our evenings have been spent watching movies, baking, or playing board games. Our favourite game is still Candy Land but we have switched out the gingerbread men to replace them with shredder and ninja turtles.

Owen is forever surprising me with his quick witted comments like " after you toots" when we were coming in from the grocery store, and the sincerity of what comes from a 4 year old's mouth is indescribable. I'm still tying to write down all of his sweet little memorable comments but how life changes and becomes so busy!!

This year so far has had a great start. The same main focus on family, my friends and what's to come for me outside from my most important role as Owen's Mom.

I hope so far this year has brought you happiness, love, strength, determination and drive. I hope along with me that you'll accept any challenges that may come your way, we will overcome them, and grow.

Happy week to you!

Suzanne

David's Tea will be working with Organizations across Canada and the US to get warm cups of tea into the hands of those who need it most. From now until January 28th, David's Tea will be donating a cup of tea for every cup you buy. Stop in today! :)