Stronger Than You Know

I’ve had quite an overwhelming response to my “Hello Beautiful” post and a few emails struck home with me. These were individuals who admire the relationship I have with Sean and are hopeful that they will become this amicable with their ex in the future. Today, my relationship with Sean could not be better, but there was a time where this was not the case.  A better relationship with your ex is not always possible or easy but sometimes, with time and patience, you can get there.  Here are some things I have learned through this process.

Stay focused on your children

Put the love for your children above any dislike you may have for your ex partner

Just because your ex wasn’t a great partner for you, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be a great parent to your child

Avoid speaking negatively of your ex in front of, or to, your children

Try not to argue or fight with your ex in front of your children

Communicate with your ex partner--this means listening, too. If the hurt is too fresh, write out everything that makes you upset or angry, or what needs to change, and then revisit this list. You may find some things you’ve written are written out of spite and anger.

If you are having a hard time with the change that has come with the separation, here is some advice that helped me.

 Don’t focus on anything but how you are feeling TODAY.  Ask yourself, “Am I feeling a little better today? Do I feel better than I did yesterday?” If so, hold onto that. Tomorrow will come, and then ask yourself again, “Do I feel better than I did yesterday?”  It is true when they say that “time heals all”. Take time.

Always know that you are stronger than you think you are, trust in yourself.  Ask for help, hope, believe and know you will get through this.