For those of you who have been on this journey with me, I'm happy to announce that I am a Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator!! :)

I have appreciated all the love and encouragement along the way. I could not be more excited to start my new career and I will be working away at my new website Suzannetoth.com

Lots of love to you all,

Suzanne.

NYC

From the people, food, sights and sounds I found myself tearing up a few times over how happy I was to be back in the city that never sleeps. I met wonderful people, most born and raised in NYC.  The kindness they showed me was humbling. It reminded me of my first visit to NYC—everyone was so welcoming and warm, I felt almost as though I was at a home away from home. I indulged in pizza by the slice and snacked around Time’s Square.  The Breakfast Sandwich Platter at « The Butchers Daughter » was a warm welcome my first morning there and reminded me a lot of a place I would find in Toronto.  Sarabeth’s was very much my taste—dressy, sophisticated and served a delicious Eggs Benedict.   Both brunches were delightful but I cannot stop thinking about HOW GOOD the tomato jam was at The Butchers Daughter—delicious!

Walking through Central Park was a highlight for me. It was free, it was beautiful, and I had awhile to just sit and watch everything and everyone around me. There were those who were playing music, others were sitting in silent meditation or walking, or jogging, or biking.  Couples, singles, children, families—all going somewhere and all seeming to enjoy the journey.    There is something magical about this place.

I walked through different areas, up and down streets, popping into cafes to grab a hot drink and warm up before continuing on. I looked out from the top of the Empire State building, witnessed an engagement an arm’s length away, walked through the crowds of time square, and met up for dinner and drinks at the W one night with a cousin. The weekend flew by but I can say I made the best out of every moment. 

As I hopped into a cab on my way to the airport,  the feeling was bittersweet. I was leaving the city I had fallen in love with years ago, but I was now a woman and mother—not the young girl who had first been awed by New York.  I was going home to the little boy who holds my heart and the man that I am falling more in love with every day.

Thank you NYC for a time to remember <B

Up until now, every time I baked chocolate chip cookies I stuck to the recipe that my Mom, Nana and Great-Grandmother always used.  They didn’t have the internet link of http://www.hersheycanada.com/recipes/en/recipe-details.aspx?id=6400&name=ORIGINAL-CHIPITS-COOKIESto give them the recipe for this favorite treat; the plastic bag of chocolate chips, with the recipe on the back was all they needed.  I haven't been excited about Gluten Free baking but after Owen's Grandmother sent home her gluten free chocolate chip cookies I was delightfully surpried how great that they tasted! Immediately, I asked her for the recipe and followed the link of http://www.cloud9specialtybakery.com/pdf/C9%20Chocolate%20Chip%20Cookie%20Recipe.pdf  to a new favourite!   I used the Cloud 9 baking mix that she sent home. Simple to use but watch that you wait long enough for the wet ingredients to cool.  Otherwise, your cookies will look more like chocolate swirls!
I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

Our Own Modern Family

I had planned on saying a little speech yesterday at Owen's Birthday party,  a "Thank you" to everyone for coming to Owen's party, but the day was so busy that I didn't have the chance to. I was running around with the little ones and in between bowling, pizza, cake and arcade games, a quiet moment to make a speech did not arise. It was funny, when Owen's grandmother came up to ask me how many kids there were, I said "15" and started laughing because there were only about 7 but it felt like there were at least 15!! Lol. Nonetheless, it was a great party, Owen had a fantastic time, and so did his little buddies!

What I wanted to say to everyone that came was: How nice it was that we could all be there to celebrate Owen’s Birthday, and how lucky I felt for Owen that he had not only his Mom, Dad and little friends,  he had my side of the family, his Father’s side of the family, and now my boyfriend, Rick’s family—all there to celebrate OWEN. There have been many times when people have commented that « Sean and I are so lucky that we get along so well » .  I didn’t realize how fortunate we were until I heard this sentence over and over again and I am grateful that this is so.  Thank you for making this an easy transition for Owen, thank you for loving him the way that you do, thank you all for being open to new a way of being family, our own little Modern Family. 

My thanks goes out to you for the time you took to be a part of Owen’s 5th birthday, the warm wishes, thoughtful gifts and love you have shared with us means so much!  

Riding the Wave

My « little guy » will be turning five this coming Saturday.  I can hardly believe it!  As the day has come closer, I have been thinking a lot about this journey of Motherhood and I’ve realized that I know very little, to nothing about it—there is so much more to learn. 

Up to the age of three,  Owen was the easiest baby and toddler. Always smiling, never giving me any grief.   I was naïve to think I had this whole « mother thing" figured out. I thought, « I was a natural », « I was a pro at this », « I probably deserve a mother-of-the-year award » ( laughing) and then fast forward to three and one half  and I felt my mother medals slowly leaving me. Owen did not seem to appreciate anything his father and I did for him. It  wore me out!  Even though I prayed that this was just a phase,  it has honestly lasted until about a month ago. Almost a year and a half of it!   

I can laugh about this now because things have definitely improved. Owen is even enjoying school and the phrase « Owen, 5 minutes ’til we get ready for school!»  is now something I do not dread to say. There are more smiles than tears (from both of us) and this fall has been really, very wonderful :) 

Between all of the terrible, pulling-out-hair times of the past five years, there were many times where I would laugh at Owen.  When he wants to be, he is the silliest, funniest little boy—which may save him at times when I’d like to send him to a time out. He is kind to other children, loves to dance and sing and is as smart as a whip! And when he sleeps, when his eyes are closed and he is peaceful, I still see that baby face. 

Someone said something to me yesterday about their daughter that has stuck with me.  They said: «  They don’t listen and they don’t stop growing so enjoy every last minute…It’s all I can do every day... to take her all in and enjoy her." 

As I continue on this journey of Motherhood, thats all I can do. I won’t know what the right thing to do is all the time.  I have to accept his good days with his bad, as he does with mine. Stay present and enjoy every last minute of him, because taking the good days with the bad, we will never have THESE days back again. 

I have so much more to learn, to teach, but this journey has held, by far, the best days of my life. 

Sometimes you just need to throw your hands up and do a jig!

A jig and a bum shake is what I had to do get a smile and a chuckle from Owen. I might have also done this for myself; I needed a smile and a chuckle, about then. It was either that or start pulling my hair out—something my Dad says I drove him to—and which I completely believe as I was no angel!  

Anyway, the other night, Owen was giving me a hard time.  He had played a few games on the IPAD but he didn’t want to get ready for bed. I brought him up to the washroom to brush his teeth and stood him in front of the toilet, he stared at me like it was some sort of cowboy standoff and he had a weapon. He stood there and told me he wasn't peeing and that he wasn't happy with me. So I started to do a jig.  « Thats not funny, Mom, " said Owen. So I shook my butt.  That got a chuckle but no results in the toilet.   Standing there with a smile, Owen said, « I’m still not peeing Mom. «  So then I turned on the tap.  End of choice :)  

It’s a steep climb but I’m learning not to take things too seriously and let small things (which seem like HUGE things when you’re also a tired Mom and all you want to do is go to bed) roll off your back. Its either that or go bald.   I choose this :)

When life throws you a million curve balls, it’s hard not to feel depleted. Nothing happens overnight and my goal of becoming a Childbirth Educator has taken more time

then I ever expected. That being said, when you really want something, you keep on persevering until you get there. You don’t ever stop believing in yourself

or your dreams.  You trust you’ll get there.  You remind yourself that Rome was not built in a day.  Cock-eyed optimist?  Well, if that’s what I have to tell myself until I make it, then that’s what I’ll tell myself!

In the meantime, set yourself up to have the greatest success and surround yourself with positive people. I know this has always been the greatest help for me, having such a great support system really does help!

Besides my little hiccup in the road, I have been enjoying LIFE! Summer weather seems to be here to stay and Owen and I have been enjoying every minute! As soon as the sun comes out we just want to get outside, wander the markets, eat fresh food— and lots of it! And we are not alone—we are meeting new people, and making new friends! 

Below are a some photos of what we've been up to, the places we've been and the people we've seen! 

Wishing you well. x0x0x

           

                                                        ^^^ Dinner together ^^^

                                      ^^^Enjoying my evening with the beautiful women behind Social Common at their Summer Kick Off Party!! ^^^  http://socialcommon.ca                                

                                           

                                                 ^^^FURASOS --Simply delightful! I cannot stop raving about their pappardelle! ^^^ http://www.fusaros.com/#about

                                         ^^^DBAR at FOUR SEASONS--White Truffled sausage,with pommel puree and pork jus. New favourite way to eat sausage, it was fantastic!! ^^^ http://www.dbartoronto.com

^^^Sweet little Owen hanging out at Londons International Food Festival! Our favourite

was the Goodah Gastro Truck.^^^